I messed up. I decided I needed to change and build a new life for myself, and instead I nearly ended up with a crazy man that I met in a supermarket queue. Ok, so I’m a bit lonely and desperate at the moment, I’ve just arrived in Johannesburg and I’m pretty much on my own. I’m looking for a job, anything in sales and marketing, anything that will allow me to leave the office for at least part of the day. Then, to add to the stress, I need a place to live. Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a place in Johannesburg? They, meaning the locals, call this place the ‘City of Gold’ or ‘Jozi’. Right now I’d call this city Satan’s Cookout because its so crazy hot and the sun burns down without respite.
So here I am, homeless, jobless and worst of all – single. On the other hand I’m also free, I confess I’ve bolted from my hometown (don’t ask where, I’m hiding) and made a decision to start over in the City of Gold. Everything feels a bit hopeless at the moment, what with meeting this deliciously handsome man – Peter – at the supermarket and then discovering that he might be a fungal missile in the making. I started chatting to him after I accidentally ripped his rear pocket by crashing my trolley into his, well, you know. I must say I felt terribly wicked when I did that, and I thought to myself that I’m really going to be ok in this big city. I can handle myself better than half the women in this town. I doubt many Joburg women would’ve been as ingenious as I when trying to attract the attention of a stranger.
Bottom line is this, it was only after I’d agreed to meet for a drink, and given him my phone number, that I noticed the latex gloves, Dettol, fungus cream and wart ointment. Not a good start to my social life in Johannesburg. I was panic stricken and immediately regretted my actions. However we had agreed to meet at the Southern Sun, Hyde Park, and although a lady never lets a man down – this one did. I’m hoping he didn’t turn up either, which would be a good thing. I’m still stewing over it and pretty let down by Violet as I thought she would really give me good advice. Turns out not.